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elfyourmother:

pictureamoebae:

imperfectsimmerr:

simnationblog:

Get The Sims 2: Ultimate collection for FREE!!!!

Simply go to “Redeem product code” in Origin and enter: I-LOVE-THE-SIMS

It is for 1 week only, so hurry!

its downloading right now! Is it just the base game or the whole thing?

In case anyone is interested…

i just tried it and it’s legit. ultimate collection is sims 2 + ALL expansions + ALL stuff packs. get it while it’s hot!!

Also Peggle is free right now on origin its under the “On the House” tab 

secret-soup:

creepym:

stridersgonnastride:

princekarkat:

stridercolada:

kerink:

luckyshirt:

Dear guy who just made my burrito:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients from one end to the other, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM TO GET TO LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans cannot usually dislocate their jaws to accommodate such methods. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito and not a multi-stage rocket to the planet Fucking Disgustingupiter.

And guess what else, player? You can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer this nonsense. You and I already know this tortilla was made to maintain its physical integrity for thirty seconds once touched. 

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

CHRIST

i literally can not breathe

jesus christ this is beautiful

lost it at cilantro cavern

oh god thi was a beautiful thing to read and behold

I got about a third of the way through this and just lost my shit completely

EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM good lord this person is beautiful in every way.

Read this out loud at Panera. Hope everyone heard me, because it was beautiful.

picklespickleyama:

bronzebasilisk:

fan-troll:

lord-kitschener:

jimblespage:

jolys:

caterjunes:

spiffymuffin:

yunghau5:

3dboyfriends:

smashbrethren:

prostheticknowledge:

Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

the time is now

hell yeah

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ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda

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it’s called the purple ramjet

which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

shove a vase up your ass

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

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i call it the matterhorn

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

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